Most of us have experienced the deep disappointment and pain of losing a relationship. Any rejection, whether from a job, opportunity, or relationship, hurts. But there is something exquisitely painful when a romantic relationship ends. And while time does heal, it can help to have a game plan for how to survive this challenging time. The following steps can’t erase the pain of heartbreak, but they can serve as a gentle hand to hold on your journey.

Romantic rejection is an agonizing experience that goes beyond simple disappointment. It triggers deep-seated physical and mental responses in our brains and bodies. In fact, heartbreak triggers the same pain centers that a broken bone would. Beyond the physical discomfort, heartbreak threatens our fundamental need for connection. Romantic relationships tap into our attachment systems—the very same systems that connected us to our primary caregivers in early childhood.

Babies and young children are entirely dependent on their caregivers for survival. They learn about the nature of love and relationships in those early relationships. Later, romantic bonds tap into those very same neural networks. This can leave us feeling panicked and unsafe when we lose a partner bond. Our nervous system overrides the brain and our well-meaning friends, who tell us that........

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