The "solid self" knows what it needs and desires, while the pseudo self reacts to those around it. The solid self is nonnegotiable with others and is composed of an individual’s firmest convictions and most integral beliefs.

The "pseudo self" consists of others’ opinions absorbed as one’s own without any conscious commitment to the beliefs underlying the opinions absorbed. As a person becomes more differentiated, the importance of hard-core self increases and the influence of pseudo self correspondingly decreases.

In an unhealthy relationship, two pseudo selves come together and fuse into each other, one person losing and the other person gaining self. This is when you lose yourself in another person. It happens often. It might have happened to you. You meet someone and fall in love or in lust. You spend every minute together because you think that’s what loving someone looks like. You start thinking like him or her, like things that they like, compromising or ignoring your own likes and wants.

Gradually your life starts to revolve around the relationship/your partner. Then, one day, you wake up and don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve lost yourself. You’ve traded your awareness of self for the comfort you find in your partner.

The solid self, however, maintains its individuality and does not merge. The solid self has beliefs, opinions, convictions, and life principles. The pseudo self is a product of........

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