November is National Adoption Month, a time to honor the complexity of adoption and the voices of those who live it every day: adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families. Throughout this month, I’ll be spotlighting a series of articles exploring the emotional, developmental, and relational layers of adoption, because adoption is not a one-time event; it’s a lifelong journey of searching for identity and belonging.

Adoption is often framed as an act of love, and it can be, but it’s also a lifelong commitment that demands emotional readiness, humility, and ongoing self-awareness. Too often, prospective parents enter adoption with the best intentions but without fully understanding what it requires from the heart.

If you’re considering adoption, here are 10 reflective questions grounded in research and lived experience to help you discern whether you’re ready not just to rescue a child, but to raise one who may have already endured deep loss.

Adoption begins with loss. Every adopted child has experienced separation trauma from their biological family, an event that profoundly shapes their nervous system and worldview. Research shows that children adopted at birth or from foster care are significantly more likely to access mental-health services than their non-adopted peers.

Reflection: Readiness means accepting that this isn’t “starting over.” It’s joining a child whose story began long before yours — one that includes both pain and potential.

Many prospective parents often carry their own history of loss, infertility, or trauma. Studies suggest that unresolved grief can complicate adoption outcomes by influencing expectations and emotional attunement.

Reflection: If your deepest

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