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“I am afraid if I stop drinking, I won’t be able to fit in anymore” is a common fear many of my clients have when they are considering cutting alcohol out of their lives.

If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. I know that fear well. For a long time, I believed that I needed to fit in to belong, and I’d do anything I could to meet other people's expectations, whether that meant putting on a bubbly mask, faking interest in topics I had no passion for, or having a drink in my hand when I was trying to drink less.

When we live in a culture where drinking is part of everyday life, choosing to opt out of alcohol is not just a practical decision, but also a social one. It can feel almost like a threat to our sense of belonging and social standing.

The Belief: I Have to Drink to Fit In

It makes sense. Many of us have learned that drinking helps us fit in. Maybe you learned that sipping a club soda at a party where everyone is drinking beer makes you feel like an outsider. Perhaps you've discovered that a couple of drinks can make you more bubbly or extraverted. Or you have found that a glass of wine is the trick to faking enthusiasm for a topic you have no interest in.

Drinking is not only a way to participate in the cultural norm, but it can also feel like a shortcut to help us bring out the version of ourselves that is........

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