For those who have been shunned, estrangement often evokes significant questioning, soul-searching, and rumination. Many ask: “What did I do?” “What went wrong?” “What caused this?”

Toxic family dynamics—including but not limited to abuse, mental illness, spousal pressure, domestic violence, divorce, parenting, or life-cycle events—are among the factors contributing to breakdowns of family relationships.

Two other drivers are rarely acknowledged or considered. Yet both may offer crucial clues as to why a family member maintains distance or terminates a relationship.

A family member may be hiding an unhealthy coping strategy: use of drugs or pornography, an eating disorder, gambling, or some other vice. By going silent, the addict signals family members to stay out of their business and not ask questions. Addicts fear the family will judge them, and they often isolate themselves to avoid shame, family pressure, or rejection.

As substance users become overwhelmed by their addiction, they do not prioritize family relationships. Instead, they may turn to social circles where their behavior is accepted and even encouraged, distancing themselves from support or healing opportunities.

“As a result, family members may feel hurt, angry, and powerless to help their loved one,” explains Marie Morin,........

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