January is a lot of pressure. New Year’s resolutions. Dry streaks. Big goals. Clean slates. Do-overs. A social demand to become someone shinier, thinner, more productive, and more successful immediately.

We are taught to treat January like a reset, as if progress requires disowning last year’s self.

For those who have learned that love and safety are conditional, the new year can be triggering. The message is clear: To be loved and accepted, you have to be better. Be compliant. Do not need so much. Basically, who you are is not enough. To be loved, you have to be perfect.

That is why rigid resolutions often collapse by February. Not because of a lack of willpower, but because change driven by

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