"The Outsiders" cast member Victor Carrillo Tracey explains how an on-stage family becomes a real one.

Actors form deep bonds, blurring real emotions with their characters' lives.

Embrace unique skills; what's undervalued may become your standout strength.

I had the pleasure of talking to Victor Carrillo Tracey, a performer in the Broadway musical The Outsiders, about the emotional and physical demands of performance, and what stays in the body after the curtain falls.

In a production defined by intensity, violence, and loss, Victor Carrillo Tracey moves between multiple characters, including Paul and understudying Sodapop and Darrel, sometimes switching roles within the same day. Each night requires emotional access, physical precision, and interaction with the audience.

“Nothing can truly prepare you for eight shows a week… for as long as the show’s going to run,” Victor says.

The Nervous System on Stage

For actors, dancers, musicians, and anyone whose work requires emotional engagement, the body is activated even if the mind knows it is just a performance.

Our nervous system cannot always differentiate between staged and actual threat. Body responses such as increased heart rate, tense muscles, enacted tears, laughter, or rage can be internalized regardless of context. For performers, this can create a blur between the character’s reality and their own (Balan, 2027).

Unlike other professions where the workday can be closed, the emotional residue of performance can be challenging to turn off. The body may hold onto its heightened state unless it is intentionally discharged.

In emotionally intense productions like The Outsiders that require performers to deliver scenes of grief, violence, love, and survival, the conflict on stage feels like a real, lived, physical experience in the body.

“There’s no part of it that’s not real,” Victor explains.

A Family in a Separate Universe

Sustaining this level of psychological demand requires true connection and support. Through repeated and shared high-stakes experiences, scene partners become anchors for one another. On stage, they are the Curtis brothers, bound as family within the world of The Outsiders. The brain encodes the experience as real, forming emotional bonds that blur the line between performance and reality.

“In a separate universe, we are family,” Victor says. “And we’ll always be that.”

Dissociation as Adaptation

Reflecting on his Broadway debut, Victor describes a dissociative experience many performers can relate to.

“An actor’s debut is a big deal. There’s so much build-up to that one moment… something in my body that was smarter than I am shut my mind down so I could do my job.”

When stakes are high, the body prioritizes performance over presence or reflection. The cost is that the experience may be lived on autopilot and not fully register. “I don’t really remember my debut,” Victor says.

To maintain boundaries between character and self, Victor relies on a somatic release practice after every show. “I get on all fours… and just shake on an open vowel… anything I have left into the floor.” This tremoring process allows him to discharge residual activation, sometimes including tears or laughter, until “something clicks” and he feels himself return.

Co-Regulation Behind the Curtain

In The Outsiders, cast members actively take care of one another both on stage and off.

Victor recalls being supported on stage by cast members like Jason Schmidt. “In stressful moments I feel very carried by my scene partners.” During an intense moment in the rumble, a fellow dancer grounded him physically and emotionally. “She just held my head and said, ‘Breathe, it’s OK.’”

These moments of co-regulation are essential in a cast where relationships are built through intense moments of exposure and trust.

Behind the curtain, actors reconnect after difficult scenes, stepping out of character and back into themselves. These rituals, however small, are restorative and grounding.

Off stage, the company actively works to separate character from self. Under the direction of Danya Taymor, actors “tap out” of intense scenes by reconnecting with one another. Behind the curtain, they return to themselves through decompression exercises, reestablishing boundaries between role and identity.

This process mirrors what we understand in trauma-informed care. The nervous system regulates in relationship. Even in highly performative environments, the presence of attuned others allows for recalibration.

The Pressure of Being Seen

Victor also speaks to the psychological pressures of visibility, including body image and the fear of not being enough.

“I think in any arena where people are looking at you… where they are taking you in, you’re going to be conscious of how you appear… that’s just a part of it.”

For young performers with critical self-talk, he normalizes the feeling of not being enough or not feeling as established or as trained. He reflects on entering Broadway without feeling as specialized as expected.

“I thought I had spent so much time learning a wide range of skills…and felt like I didn’t have enough vocal or dance training. But then when I got to The Outsiders… we did a fight combination… and I was like, oh, this is so easy for me,” he says.

“The thing you feel is not going to be useful for you… is probably what will make you most unique and valuable.”

He offers this advice to emerging performers:

“You have to pray with your feet moving… trust that whatever is meant for you is meant for you… and if things don’t go your way… then the universe… or whatever power you believe in is just baking something that might take longer… but is gonna be so much sweeter.”

Balan, D. (in press). The Body Business: Maintaining Mental health and Autonomy for Athletes, Actors, and Models. Routledge.

Balan, D (2023). Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal. Routledge.

Balan, D. (2024). Confidently Chill: An Anxiety Workbook for New Adults. Routledge.

The Outsiders: A New Musical. https://outsidersmusical.com

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