Emotional maturity is at the heart of a positive relationship with others and ourselves. As Esther Perel puts it, “The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.” Without emotional maturity or at low levels of emotional maturity, relationships will be challenging, unhealthy, and, in some cases, unsustainable. I like to say that chemistry brings people together in romantic relationships, but emotional maturity and behavior sustain relationships.

Emotional maturity is a learned skill that requires self-awareness, education, intentionality, and hard work. It doesn’t just happen accidentally. It’s also not just about cognitively understanding emotional maturity. Any authentic, personal transformation is a full-body experience. It requires us to move beyond our intellect and incorporate the heart, the soul, the body, and relationships. Sometimes, more content isn’t the answer. It is learning to sit with the content—a word, phrase, or sentence that speaks to you—and reflect, meditate, journal, and externally process that material. Which brings me to my upcoming book about incorporating that way of thinking and being in order to increase your level of emotional maturity.

This post explores three areas of emotional maturity: growing an emotionally healthy ego, accepting life on life’s terms, and understanding the limits of romantic chemistry.

Emotional maturity looks like...:

First, when someone teases you, keep in mind that you hold the power over how it affects you. You have the........

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