Why Relationships Matter

Take our Can You Spot Red Flags In A Relationship?

Find a therapist to strengthen relationships

The inflated ego mindset interferes with intimacy.

Narcissism cancels partnership.

Any of us can at times be me-centered rather than we-centered. The most common nickname for this style is “ego.” We can learn not to put ourselves down when we are self-centered but to feel compassion for whatever fear might lurk beneath our swagger. We do not vilify our ego but hold it respectfully and tame it tenderly. Then it serves our world and relationships rather than subverting them. Ego becomes what it is meant to be: a lieutenant not a general.

The ego is healthy when it helps us fulfill our life goals. When an ego becomes too big for its britches, it becomes egotism. We may find egotistical behavior objectionable and unjustified. Our healthy and compassionate style, however, is not to demean egotists. We get it that their swagger is based on self-doubt, fear, and shame. So although we don’t like egotistical behavior or attitudes we can still feel compassion for what led to ego-armoring in the first place.

We can feel the tragedy of a permanently defensive ego that elbows people out of its way and grabs all it can for itself. Such a style is based on an illusory belief........

© Psychology Today