Ethical behavior is not weakness; it can be a source of clarity and effectiveness.

Cynicism shuts people down, while vigilance helps them recognize and resist unethical tactics.

Understanding influence helps you resist manipulation without imitating it.

Every semester, in my Power and Influence course, a familiar moment arrives. We are deep into a negotiation exercise or a role‑play designed to surface real organizational dynamics, when a student raises a hand and says something like this:

“I am all for ethics, but I am tired of being victimized by people who are not.”

The room always goes quiet. Heads nod. Nearly everyone has felt this in some part of their life. They have watched people who bend rules, manipulate narratives, or weaponize relationships rise faster than those who try to do things the right way. They have seen unethical behavior rewarded. And they are frustrated.

I do not dismiss that frustration. I validate it. They are not imagining it. Unethical power exists. Unethical influence exists. And yes, sometimes unethical tactics work. They work more often than any of us would like to admit, and sometimes they work for a very long time. Acknowledging that reality is part of teaching power honestly.

Cynicism shuts people down. Vigilance wakes them up. Cynicism assumes that everyone is corrupt and that nothing can be done. Vigilance recognizes corruption when it appears and helps you protect yourself. Cynicism dismisses ethics as pointless. Vigilance treats ethics as a source of clarity and effectiveness. The difference between the two shapes how people navigate power.

This distinction is the foundation of how I teach the realities of power and influence.

The Mantra for Power and Influence

Years ago, I wrote a Psychology Today post introducing what I call the Mantra for Power and Influence. It goes like this:

“Don’t say or do what you feel like saying or doing. Say or do what’s effective.”

It sounds simple, but it’s not. It........

© Psychology Today