In adolescence, two types of complaints become common.

Urgency: “I can’t wait!” (The parent or adolescent feels rushed by each other's demands.)

Reluctance: “I’ll do it later!” (The parent or adolescent feels frustrated by the other's delay.)

Both insistence and resistance—pressing for immediate gratification and deferring what one doesn’t want to do right away—can become increasingly expressed by both as teenage independence grows between them.

“Now” becomes more of a battleground between adolescent and parent, creating more disagreements over who controls what happens when.

Adolescence can increase the power of now: insistence on it (what one urgently wants—now!) and resistance to it (what one doesn’t want to do at the moment—not right now!)

The need for “now” can be self-centered, emotionally intense, and more worth arguing about for the teenager and parent who are both investing energy in getting her or his way. Independence is at stake for the teenager; compliance is at stake for the parents.

Demand for “now” is a time management issue: when is something going to happen? Since one can’t do........

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