Most young people seem to understand that adolescence is no time to go it alone. Such social isolation can breed loneliness (“I don’t have friends to keep me company”) and ignorance (“No one tells me anything!”).

Sometimes, parents worry or even take offense when, compared to childhood, their teenager is more preoccupied with peers and less interested in being with them. However, becoming socially nested with friends is an important stepping stone to social independence.

Such membership can anchor social growth during a changing time. It can provide a welcome sense of belonging, stability, identity, and support, whether one is in a peer group or is in a social clique.

The difference between these two designations can be an experiential one. A rough distinction might be this. While a peer group can feel more inclusive, tolerant, and relaxing (“They give me social company”), a clique can feel more exclusive, conforming, and demanding (“I have to keep up with them to belong”). Both can provide an anchoring, second social family experience.

While parents can love you, and it’s important they do, these adults don’t usually "get" (understand) more of what matters to you as adolescence unfolds. A cultural generation gap helps widen the growing social separation between the more traditional parent and the more contemporary teenager. To keep this widening cultural gap from becoming estranging, parents can do a couple of........

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