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The 37% Rule on Dating Before Settling Down

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17.05.2026

The Science of Mating

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Optimal stopping theory suggests that a 37% sample offers enough information about a population.

It suggests that in dating, you use the first 37% of dates just to calibrate your expectations.

The thought then is to choose the first subsequent person who exceeds the best of this calibration sample.

Stop it. Just stop it. There are various theories out there about when you should stop dating because you've seen enough and just choose the best of what you have available already to settle down. One of these is the optimal stopping theory from mathematics, which has given rise to the 37% rule. This rule suggests that after seeing 37% of what you are going to see, you have enough information to decide. But is this rule even close to being 100% accurate?

The 37 % Rule Comes From Optimal Stopping Theory

Dating may not be a "simple" problem. But the optimal stopping theory would cast it as a "sample" one. Before you start dating, you have no clue of what's really out there without having enough of a real-world sample to tell. Advertising, rom-coms, and social media may tell you that there's a Prince or Princess Charming out there for you. But once you really start dating to get a sample, you may find that isn't the case.

At some point, though, you may desire some kind of stopping point. After all, you can't possibly date every available person in the world. And you may have certain life goals that are time-sensitive. An early goal of dating then is to have a large........

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