Explaining the closeness that twins share is extremely complicated. My short explanation is that twins are born married, as they share their time in utero and share their birth, infancy, and early life almost exclusively. Twins define who they are by comparing themselves verbally and non-verbally to each other.

Naturally, there are energizing, good, and difficult problem behaviors that they have to face alone and together as they grow up. Closeness, resentment, unrealistic expectations, and loneliness are emotions that are spontaneously processed as each twin gains their own individual identity and sense of self alongside their twin identity.

Idealization of the twinship by the general public makes understanding the twin relationship more difficult and leads to more misunderstandings and strong differences of opinion about how well twins get along. Twins are often told that they are lucky to have each other—which is true in some situations.

In direct conflict, though, twins are often highly frustrated by their

© Psychology Today