Overcoming the emotional burden of putting yourself first in a new social situation or a twin conflict is often painful, stressful, and complicated when you are a twin. Both identical and fraternal twins can have difficulties not sharing, over-sharing, or taking what belongs to them. Easily giving away a cookie or a book or an answer to a math problem is a common experience that creates dependency that will need to be eliminated as twins mature. Telling your twin, “No, this is mine, not yours,” has different meanings for twins than for single children who know what truly belongs to them. In addition, twins may aggressively want what their twin has and will pursue gaining possession of their twin’s “treasure.”

The difficulty in putting yourself first is in direct contrast to the popular social belief that twins are very fortunate to have each other’s companionship and deep understanding, which many people believe is truly priceless. Twins easily communicate with each other, which has good and bad consequences. For example, if your twin thinks that you are making a mistake, he or she cannot (will not) keep their opinion to themselves, because their identity is intertwined with yours. Developing individuality........

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