January has earned the nickname “divorce month” for a reason. Family law firms see a spike in inquiries, as many couples wait until after the holidays to finalize their decision to divorce. The decision may have been in the making for months or years, but the stress and financial strain of the holidays can be the proverbial final straw for one partner. Feelings of emotional dissatisfaction or imbalance in workload can come to a head over the holidays.

Additionally, couples with kids may want to wait until the kids are back in school, extended family obligations are over, and the end-of-year craziness calms down before embarking on such a major life change. For others, January lines up well with the tax year and, thus, is a convenient way to plan financially for their new future.

In whatever season you take steps to initiate a divorce, while it may not be easy, it doesn’t have to be acrimonious or destructive, nor does it have to create trauma for the kids. Divorce itself is not what causes harm; it’s how you do divorce. With the right mindset and preparation, divorce can mark the beginning of a healthier chapter for everyone involved.

Whether you’re navigating your own divorce or supporting someone else’s, the following tips can help in approaching the divorce thoughtfully.

Divorce is a major life event that requires clarity, intentionality, and planning. Making the decision to divorce is just the beginning. Following through in a way that decreases conflict and reactivity will ensure that your kids—if you have kids—aren’t inadvertently burdened or hurt. I recommend that you and your co-parent sit with a neutral third party, such as a co-parenting therapist, coach, or mediator, to discuss the steps involved. Taking your time now to be intentional will serve you in the long run. Making rushed decisions that are led by emotions may lead to cloudy judgment and........

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