Divorce after age 50 is often called “gray divorce.” As it has become more common, it brings unique challenges.

Lynda and Jeff (not their real names) came to discuss Jeff’s decision to end the marriage. “I will always love her,” he says, “But I’m just not ‘in love’ with her anymore.” Lynda agrees that their marriage has been “stale” for at least five years, but she doesn’t want the divorce. Lynda believes Jeff is having a late mid-life crisis. She asks, “Why would you want to unravel everything we’ve built together?” After more than 25 years together, Lynda wants Jeff to have a realistic view of what divorce will mean. She says bitterly, “Jeff’s got rose-colored glasses. He’s looking for a new life and new wife.”

Lynda and Jeff (a dentist) own a small dental practice, and Lynda handles the front office work. She states that she will no longer work there after the divorce. The practice will need an appraisal, and much of their personal expenses have historically been run through the business. They have some retirement savings and a vacation home that was inherited by Jeff, in addition to the family home. Since the children are adults, they agree that the home will need to be sold, or perhaps Jeff will buy Lynda out of the home. Lynda doesn’t want him to keep the family home, and Jeff doesn’t know if he can afford to keep it. Untangling their assets and dividing them will be complicated and emotional, and Lynda worries that she won’t have enough years ahead to recover financially.

At 57, she wonders who would hire her if she has to earn money. Many couples have had retirement plans, and........

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