New Delhi: With a nod to US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, allow me to begin with a disclaimer: this column does not in any way recommend consumption of alcohol or suggest that it’s okay to drink yourself silly. The latter, my dear reader, is entirely your funeral.

Rather, this piece is, ahem, a serious arm-chair investigation into the bad rap C₂H₆O aka ethanol aka alcohol is getting of late—courtesy our desi bhai, Vivek.

To—what I would imagine to be—the great disappointment of his grandfather, H C Narayana Murthy, a former director of Mysore Sugar Company (molasses, anyone?), Vivek bhai has decided that it is time the US (and inevitably the rest of the world), woke up to the fact that alcohol causes cancer. As his office advised, alcohol causes not one, but seven types of cancer, making it........

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