On 14 June, a British Royal Navy F-35B Lightning II stealth fighter jet, valued at a cool £85 million, made an unscheduled pit stop at Thiruvananthapuram International Airport in Kerala, India, after a spot of bother with bad weather and low fuel. Fast forward three weeks, and the jet is still there, grounded by a pesky hydraulic failure, with the UK now planning to airlift it back home using a C-17 Globemaster transport aircraft. What began as a routine emergency landing has spiralled into a farcical saga, complete with whispers of espionage, monsoon-soaked tarmacs and a peculiar British reluctance to accept Indian hospitality.

The tale is a masterclass in how to turn a minor mishap into a global spectacle. Social media has been abuzz with memes, including a satirical listing of the jet for sale on OLX for a bargain £3.2 million, boasting “new tyres" and an “automatic gun to destroy traffic violators". As the UK scrambles to retrieve its prized aircraft, the episode has become a delightful blend of technical woes, diplomatic dance, and unfounded fears about India pinching the F-35’s cutting-edge tech.

The F-35B, part of the HMS Prince of Wales Carrier Strike Group, was merrily conducting joint exercises with the Indian Navy when it hit a snag on 14 June. Adverse weather and dwindling fuel forced the pilot, Captain Mike (whose full name no media house has disclosed), to issue a distress signal, landing safely at Thiruvananthapuram, a civilian airport not exactly equipped for fifth-generation stealth fighters. Still, the Indian Air Force, ever the gracious host, coordinated the landing and offered refuelling and logistical support.

But then came the twist—a hydraulic........

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