Don’t Worry, Everyone! Trump Says He Can Walk Up Ramps and Stairs

Donald Trump, 80, bragged about his ability to walk up all sorts of inclined surfaces.

The bar for America’s highest elected office keeps sinking.

The nation’s totally healthy, very fit, 80-year-old president gave himself a little pat on the back Thursday after he managed to climb on the rally stage at the Peterbilt Motors manufacturing facility in Denton, Texas.

The celebration came amid a dig at the health of his predecessor, former President Joe Biden.

“Don’t forget, when Biden left the stage he spoke very shortly, like two minutes, one minute, as quickly as possible,” Trump said. “Could never find the stairs.”

“I don’t have that problem. You know, these things—you know how many stairs they have?” Trump continued. “Look, I can go ramp, and I can go stair, I can go another stair, another stair in the back, I have a stair here—he could never find a stair.”

"I can go ramp, I can go stairs" -- Trump's audience in Texas gives him an extremely tepid round of applause as he brags about being able to go up stairs without falling pic.twitter.com/SvQFajZZGO— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 1, 2026

"I can go ramp, I can go stairs" -- Trump's audience in Texas gives him an extremely tepid round of applause as he brags about being able to go up stairs without falling pic.twitter.com/SvQFajZZGO

Trump is the second-oldest man to ever serve as America’s commander in chief. The octogenarian has spent hours at Walter Reed Medical Center on multiple occasions since he returned to office, has fallen asleep during more than a dozen critical meetings, appeared lost and disoriented around foreign heads of state, frequently slurs his speech, and seems to almost chronically suffer from discolored and bruised skin.

His behavior has also grown increasingly erratic, as he has thrown cheap and petty insults at members of the press, challenged long-standing U.S. alliances, and even taken jabs at the pope.

But Trump has nonetheless insisted that he is perfectly fit to keep the country’s most important job. Since 2024, the self-styled “stable genius” has “aced” several cognitive exams, though his recollections of the tests’ contents have called into question whether he actually took them at all.

The American public is apparently wising up to Trump’s age: A national Strength in Numbers/Verasight poll conducted in July found that public perceptions of Trump’s mental health were on par with Biden’s, with 46 percent of respondents rating Trump’s mental sharpness as “poor.”

Vance Says People Are Too Focused on “Little Things” Ahead of Midterms

You know, like being able to afford gas and groceries.

Vice President JD Vance thinks that Americans are too worried about the “little things” ahead of midterms—like gas prices, debt, Immigration and Customs Enforcement killings, and war. 

“This is not the time to sort of gripe about all the little things.… I think every single person who voted for us in 2024 could find something where they wish maybe congressional Republicans had gone further,” Vance told Fox News on Thursday. “The challenge here is between Democrats who want to destroy the country, who want to permanently disempower you … and Republicans who fundamentally........

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