By Emily Conn

Another heatwave in the UK means public transport is unbearable and I can’t sleep but I should be having the time of my life.

In this hot summer, Instagram’s vision of perfection has been unrelenting. Polka dot dresses pose outside Wimbledon, crochet cardigans grin at Glastonbury, and the three stripes of Adidas at the Oasis reunion make rude hand gestures at me. Ha, this is the only concert of its kind ever. Have fun listening to AI-generated music because that’s all you will have once this tour is over and culture dies forever. I heard they were a bit mean, but this summer, it has felt like the Gallagher brothers have a personal vendetta against me.

The fear of missing out (FOMO) has always........

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