I suffered a debilitating throbbing in my rear for 48 hours before I made an appointment with my doctor.

Upon glimpsing the source of my agony, she immediately called a surgeon with a months-long waitlist who agreed to take me that afternoon on her lunch break.

“Does it feel like glass?” the surgeon asked, her face peering into my nether regions. The parchment paper underneath me crinkled as I shifted my weight on the table. I felt like one of the turkey meatballs I had made for dinner.

“Yes,” I groaned. “Like a giant piece of glass in my butt.”

Her diagnosis: a thrombosed haemorrhoid.

A haemorrhoid is a swollen blood vessel located on or near the rectum or anus. It can be brought on by experiencing pressure in that area from pregnancy, straining during a bowel movement, sitting too long on the toilet (as a mum of five kids, I’ll admit sometimes I linger in the quiet of my bathroom), lifting something heavy, obesity or a combination of factors.

Haemorrhoids affect somewhere between 20-50% of the population, with more women than men reporting them. Rectal vein inflammation can be resolved but also return, depending on fibre intake and if lifestyle changes aren’t made. Supplements, proper hydration and nutrition changes can help prevent them.

A thrombosed haemorrhoid is rarer. My doctor gave me the pleasant description, “it’s like a balloon filled with cement”. It’s a hardened blood clot rather than your run-of-the-mill swollen vein.

For two days, the throbbing was so painful it took my breath away and made my teeth chatter. Sleep was impossible. Alone, I peeked at my backside in the mirror. It baffled me how something no wider than a dime could be so aggravating.

When I was a child, my parents were secretive about their health issues, so when this came up, I instinctively felt shame about my own. I believed my friends in their mid-30s and 40s would think it was gross or weird, and I was embarrassed to tell anyone about what I was experiencing.

I couldn’t get comfortable in any position, sitting, standing – even lying down. Any pressure on my booty took my breath away.

Schlepping kids to and from school made all the time spent in my minivan unbearable. At home, I couldn’t even make eye contact with my beloved Peloton bike. The thought of my bottom bouncing on the seat made my body tense up. I’d never had this brand of ouch during pregnancy.

But the surgeon now looking at the small........

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