Deciding if you want to have children as a couple is often a make-or-break decision.

We all know – or know of – a couple who broke up because only one of them wanted children, even if that couple is just Sofía Vergara and Joe Manganiello.

Whether or not to become parents is one of the most important issues for couples to align on – and when they disagree, it can understandably be their undoing.

But life is never that straightforward, and in some cases, one person in the couple can sometimes change their mind about having kids. The other may even make the case to try and “convince” them to reconsider. This sometimes works out for them and sometimes doesn’t, but it’s certainly a fine line to tread.

“Deciding to have children isn’t something anyone should be pushed into,” Teresha Young, an international wellness and relationship coach told HuffPost.

“If a couple talks things through openly and honestly, and a partner decides of their own accord that they now want children, it can be a natural, healthy and positive shift. This often comes from finding common ground as a team, sharing hopes, and imagining a future together.”

We’re using the term “convincing” with a large helping of salt here, because this isn’t about coercion or putting pressure on a partner who simply does not want children. It’s much more nuanced than that.

“If anyone is being emotionally manipulated, guilt-tripped or blackmailed into parenthood, that’s a recipe for disaster,” Young said.

“No one should be forced into making such a significant life decision. That kind of pressure can breed resentment, bitterness, emotional disconnection and withdrawal. It might not surface straight away, but over time it can chip away at the relationship.”

In an ideal world, dating experts would typically advise that people start talking about whether or not they want kids in the long term in the first few dates.

“The conversations should begin with discussing your positive childhood memories, what you loved about how you were raised, and then transition into what you may do differently with your kids,” Spicy Mari, a relationship expert featured on Netflix’s Sneaky Links and founder of The Spicy Life, told HuffPost.

These conversations, Mari said, should take place whether you’re in your 20s or your 40s, especially if you know that you feel strongly one way or the other.

Still, people often find themselves in a long-term relationship where they don’t align with their partner on the kids question, whether they didn’t........

© HuffPost