Geoffrey, Fred and their son.

My experience of becoming a dad was deeply emotional and transformative. It changed every part of my life.

We adopted our son during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, a time that, oddly enough, proved to be a blessing in disguise. With lockdowns and working from home, I was able to be more present.

We often speak about the bond between mothers and their children largely rooted in pregnancy and early care. Yet adoptive parents must build those same vital attachments through an entirely different process.

You welcome a fully formed child into your life, often carrying the weight of trauma, instability or loss. Building a family through adoption means forming trust, love and connection from the ground up.

Currently, statutory adoptive leave is 52 weeks – and only one person can take it. The other parent can take statutory paternity leave, which in the UK is up to two weeks. Shared parental leave is also an option.

But when you’re building a family with a child who has already been through so much at such a young age, having only two weeks off before returning to work can be incredibly challenging.

I believe adoptive families need more than a few weeks to establish that bond. They need at least three months of leave together. This isn’t a holiday; it’s essential bonding time. Attachment is the cornerstone of any family, and for adopted children, it’s even more critical.

A secure, consistent presence from both parents helps the child feel safe – it enables them to begin building a sense of belonging. Without that time, families risk struggling, especially when one parent bears the emotional and logistical load alone.

My husband and I had to figure this out ourselves. Even with Covid-era flexibility, it became clear how adoptive........

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