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4 Ways Therapists Say People With Anxiety Get Stuck – And How To Get Unstuck

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22.07.2025

Nearly 1 in 5 Americans have anxiety. So when my therapist said I was one of them, it wasn’t a surprise. As a recent cancer survivor, busy mom of five, and a journalist immersed in terrible global news, I’d heard that before. But I hadn’t learned that feeling unsafe and out of control are actually two of four ways people with anxiety get “stuck.” That part was new — a pattern to the chaos?

Suddenly, the condition wasn’t just “anxious” versus “calm” — there were patterns and triggers I could understand. My therapist was referencing principles from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), schema therapy, and attachment theory, said Dr. Nicolette Natale, psychiatrist and chief marketing officer at Recovered.org in Bellmore, New York.

For non-therapists, this means anxiety often stems from four common “cognitive distortions” or “core beliefs,” Natale explained. “Individuals who have generalised anxiety disorder may ruminate or get stuck on thoughts associated with fear/safety and lack of control, whereas someone with social anxiety may deal with more thoughts about self-worth or fear of judgment,” she said.

“CBT suggests that our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected, and that certain ‘thinking traps’ or belief systems often maintain anxiety,” said Stacy Thiry, a licensed mental health counsellor at Grow Therapy.

Here’s what I discovered about the four ways anxiety traps us — and how to break free.

“When people believe that in the future they won't be safe enough, they feel anxious,” said Eran Magen, assistant clinical professor at the Yale School of Medicine Department of Psychiatry.

The Four Ways People With Anxiety Get Stuck

Feeling Unsafe

“If someone gets stuck in fear/safety, they might constantly scan their environment for danger, catastrophise situations, or live in a near-constant state of hyper-vigilance,” Thiry said. You might not even realise you feel this way. “Looking at these thoughts with curiosity instead of fear is a major step,” Natale said.

“When people believe that in the future they won’t be safe enough, they feel anxious,” said

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