I’m a comedian.

If you’ve heard of me, it’s probably because of my TikTok characters like snooty Glasgow West End mum "Aileen" or my breathy Scottish newsreader.

But by far my most viral character to date is "woman who is secretly a rat".

I posted it last summer on a whim, and it quickly (and inexplicably) started to do numbers.

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The videos, which feature me erratically gnashing my teeth at the camera, are extremely stupid.

They took seconds to film.

But around 8 million people have watched them.

Why spend days carefully crafting your material?

Give the people what they want: a rabid 39-year-old woman making repulsive mouth noises.

The internet is a f****d-up place.

Since then, I’ve become known as "rat woman".

When I was stepping off the tube in London a couple of months ago, a fellow passenger shrieked: "It’s the woman who’s secretly a rat!"

On social media, people DM me everything and anything rodent-related.

Rat-themed clothing, food, art, travel (did you know there’s a cafe in Amsterdam where you can dine alongside hundreds of rescued rats?).

Rats have been an amusing and welcome (digital) presence in my life for the past 10 months.

Until now.

A few days ago I was idly scrolling social media, when a message pinged in my Neighbours WhatsApp group: "Just discovered evidence of dreaded rats in my car engine… best to keep........

© Herald Scotland