The 2026 FIFA World Cup starts tomorrow and Scotland have finally made it after a 28-year absence. Sadly, our wretched history at this level is full of regrets and what-ifs. And now, in the modern gentrified game, we’re still out of place.

Scotland missed a series of glorious opportunities in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s to do some serious damage at the World Cup. In that golden era, a measure of controlled and elegant violence was indulged on the field of play. The football authorities pretended to be horrified by it, but the punters loved it. A sublime procession of brutal exchanges featuring some of the world’s finest players made the game seem real and relevant to the challenging conditions millions of football supporters encountered in their daily lives.

When the rules were tightened up to outlaw all the aggression, it marked the beginning of the gentrification of football and its eventual annexation by brute capitalism and the rapacious middle classes. Its tragic denouement can be observed in the advent of Pep Guardiola football. This has turned the game at the elite level into a form of modern dance. When you see Mr Guardiola’s teams playing football it’s like attending an al fresco performance of Swan Lake … but without the meaty challenges. They should be sponsored by Persil Automatic.

The Brazilians must also shoulder some of the blame for the de-industrialisation of football. After they won the World Cup in 1970 everyone started talking about The Beautiful sodding Game as though it were Fellini’s La Dolce Vita with Anita Ekberg as a roving 10.

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