Recently, I had the good fortune to attend a do in the Hillfoots town of Alloa and very pleasant it was too.

When I say good fortune, what I actually meant was that I was invited for once rather than gate-crashing which is my usual modus operandi.

Regardless, it required an overnight stay and I headed to the station for what turned out to be a rather more expensive journey than it should have been.

The reason?

Well apparently Alloa is ‘too close’ so an open return on the train is not available.

I asked a lady with a ticket machine at the station for a return to Alloa returning tomorrow only to be told the computer says no.

When I enquired why not, she replied that Alloa is ‘too close’.

Too close to what was not fully explained but what should have been a straightforward return fare of around £16 - and it would have been had I returned that day - instead cost me more than £34 and required four tickets.

Alloa clearly doesn’t merit an overnight stay, according to some official that sits in an office and draws up the fare structure.

Now the bewildering range of tickets available on the UK rail network has long been a bone of contention for passengers and rightly so.

If you are very early with your booking and are extremely clever then there is a chance you can get a return from Aberdeen to Penzance for less than a single from Dunblane to Stirling.

But these are only available so far in advance you would have to book it before you are actually born.

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