'My wife lost 4 stone on fat jab and is a completely different person'

My wife lost four stones on the fat jab and is a completely different person.

Not just looks-wise, but she’s no longer the quiet, shy wall flower she always was; in fact, I’d say she is overconfident and full of herself.

She does look fabulous, but I don’t tell her that in case this new version of her finds another man.

I love her, but I’m finding it difficult to like the new her, if that makes sense.

How can we get back to the old us?

You felt safe and secure when your ‘old’ wife blended in with the wallpaper, but your insecurities are selfish and unsupportive because your wife clearly wasn’t happy, and now she is living her best life she wants to show the world the version of her that was always in there.

You assumed your wife’s large size sheltered your marriage from any outside attention, but that’s not love, and certainly not what keeps a marriage alive.

Your ‘new’ wife is unlikely to succumb to extramarital attention because of her confident demeanour; however, neglect and indifference from her husband might mean she enjoys male attention she doesn’t get from you.

Health-wise, your wife was a ticking time bomb, so I’d say her weight loss is something to be celebrated.

It’s sad that despite turning her life around, the person closest to her can’t bring himself to be her number one fan, so James, buy her flowers and tell her how amazing she is.

Take her out and proudly show off your beautiful wife because showing admiration will reap rewards for you both.

Since losing his childhood sweetheart six months ago, my brother seems totally lost without her and has become a recluse.

We have chatted, and I’ve tried to involve him with our local church and other activities, but he politely refuses and only leaves the house to food shop.

I don’t know how else to help him.

Grieving six months after losing his soul mate is natural, as he will be overwhelmed with his loss.

As each month passes, it’s yet another month since he last saw her, and his suffering may well get worse before it eases off.

He still has many ‘firsts’ of everything.

Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc, so it really is early days for him.

Please contact the Cruse Scotland Helpline on 0808 802 6161, or check out their website https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/ to help guide you on ways to be there and help your brother.

Trained volunteers are on hand to help him too when he is ready to make contact.

Often, it helps talking to strangers as opposed to close family members, as he may well open up to feelings he can’t share with you.

Just keep turning up Mandy, share memories, help with the practicalities and somewhere down the line you will see glimmers of his adjustment to his new single life.

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk 

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