As sure as spring brings green buds and the first cherry blossoms, when temperatures nudge above 20 degrees in Cork, another natural phenomenon begins - the emergence of Cork’s warm-weather wildlife.

Observed only on rare sunny days, these peculiar species appear in the wilds of Patrick Street, Fitzgerald’s Park, and various beer gardens, sun-dazzled and dazed.

Grab your binoculars and your SPF - here’s your field guide to spotting the native sunshine species of Leeside.

The Red Scaldy Head

The Red Scaldy Head is a migratory creature who first appears for a few days in late April or early May and then again sporadically until September.

Most frequently observed in an outdoor café, beer garden or at a park bench, this species has not evolved the melanin needed to survive direct sunlight.

Recognisable by their distinct call ‘Tis fierce warm, isn’t it?”, they can often be seen turning puce while holding a pint of Heineken.

The euphoria of summer has evaporated their basic understanding that Irish skin is incapable of enduring more than 30 minutes of hot sun before turning rebel red.

As the victim of many a stupid sunburn in my day I sympathise strongly with this vulnerable species. I have to stop myself from approaching these Red Scaldy Heads to warn them of the code red situation happening on their faces. Do not approach - they are likely to insist they are “grand”, even as their skin audibly sizzles.

Ghost White........

© Evening Echo