“You’re always stubborn!” I heard one girl say to another as I walked past them in a market. I hadn’t even crossed the next shop when a seller shouted at his helper, calling him “Chhotu!” just because he was a little shorter than the others.

These instances, and so many more like them, are very common occurrences and you’d be surprised how often they happen around you every single day. Maybe you’ve overheard them. Maybe, unknowingly, you’ve said them: “motu,” “motti,” “chuhiya,” or “sissy”, all those half-baked names we, or others, casually throw at someone because of their looks, habits or personality. These names feel like fun to the ones saying them. However, they don’t feel that good to those at the receiving end.

Labels are not our real names or our real traits. They are just something someone else decided was funny or accurate, or “just the way they see us, even without thinking at all.

Perhaps you could be the one calling your friend, ‘stickman’ because of him being thin; or your younger brother ‘slowpoke’ every time he takes a little longer to get ready. It may sound funny to you but, to them, these names start to feel real like they’re only ever seen as clumsy or uptight, instead of everything else they truly are.

The many faces of labels

Labelling isn’t just about calling someone a name. It goes much deeper than that. It’s about reducing someone’s entire personality or experience to a single word or trait.

For example, if your class fellow fails a test just once, suddenly everyone starts whispering, “Yeah, she’s weak in studies.” That one comment, even if said indirectly, might be enough to make her stop raising her hand in class next time, even if she knows the answer. She begins to doubt herself, not because she’s actually weak, but because others have decided that’s what she is.

Some children speak less. Silence is part of their comfort zone, not a flaw. But even close ones, like family or friends, might casually label them “Ajeeb sa hai!” (He’s a bit weird). That single word ‘ajeeb’ will hit hard, making the child feel like their calm nature is something strange or wrong. They begin to see themselves as........

© Dawn Young Magazine