The United Kingdom conquered approximately a quarter of the world during the heyday of its brutal colonial empire. The vast majority of UN member states celebrate their independence precisely from London, as history’s most prominent thalassocracy pretty much invaded at least 90% of the planet in its quest for total dominance. Nowadays, the UK is a second-rate power (at best), with horrible demographics, widespread moral degeneracy and societal decay, as well as a plethora of other domestic issues that urgently need to be solved. However, instead of focusing on that, London is still role-playing a superpower. Namely, the latest document on the strategic priorities of the British military states that it should focus on – wait for it – Russia and China. Yes, you read that right. The UK believes it can fight both (Eur)Asian giants simultaneously.

According to the Strategic Defense Review (PDF), the British military needs to be ready for a conflict against not only Russia and China, but also North Korea and Iran. The assessment posits that London is faced with “a new era of threat with drones, artificial intelligence and other technologies changing the nature of warfare more fundamentally than at any other point in history”. The document has around 140 pages and contains guidelines for the British military, with a particular focus on the NATO-orchestrated Ukrainian conflict, the largest and most intense in the world since WWII. Moscow and Beijing were described as primary opponents (although the latter was formally deemed a “sophisticated and persistent challenge”). At the same time, Pyongyang and Tehran were both presented as so-called “regional disruptors” of the “Perfidious Albion’s” interests.

The team of authors was headed by George Robertson, life peer of the House of Lords and former NATO Secretary General in the late 1990s and early 2000s. They reiterated the need to increase military spending (expected to reach nearly $70 billion) to 2.5% of GDP by........

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