The social-media phenomenon has been growing online – part etiquette trend, part relationship aspiration, part fairytale. Is it empowering, a bit of fun, or something more sinister?

We're used to seeing old-fashioned, high-society courtships played out on such TV shows as Bridgerton, The Buccaneers and The Gilded Age. But now the fascination with period-drama levels of chivalry has morphed into Gen Z's favourite fast-growing social-media phenomenon: "princess treatment". Just in case you've been too busy attending balls in glittering palaces to follow the latest camera-ready dating trend, princess treatment refers to various supposedly fairy tale-worthy gestures made by women's partners, including (but never limited to) lattes in bed, flowers every Friday, partner-funded pedicures, and doors being opened for you.

In social-media posts, princess treatment is typically contrasted with the "bare minimum" (think: baseline expectations of communication and remembering birthdays). And, of course, such treatment is eminently clickable: social-media platforms have increasingly turned private acts of affection into public displays. But how healthy is it? Part etiquette trend, part relationship aspiration, part fantasy – is princess treatment empowering, a bit of fun, or a sinister kind of turbo-charged trad wife-ism?

Nearly 130,000 Instagram posts congregate under the hashtag #princesstreatment. At the heart of the trend is Utah-based influencer Courtney Palmer, a self-proclaimed "princess housewife", whose TikTok – viewed 7.6 million times – outlines her controversial expectations for her spouse: "At a restaurant with my husband, I don't speak to the hostess, open doors or order my food." Some naysayers have suggested that this is more like the behaviour of a prisoner than a princess. Emma Beddington in The Guardian called it "emetic" and "disturbing". And yet princess treatment is resonating, particularly in the United States.

"In a time where dating can feel transactional and often confusing, old-school romance feels special," says Myka Meier, one of Instagram's biggest etiquette influencers. To Meier, who has more than 650,000 Instagram followers, princess treatment is less about materialism and more about emotional attentiveness. "The fantasy of being 'swept off your feet' taps into a universal desire for elegance, respect and intentionality," Meier tells the BBC.

With a new Downton Abbey film coming this autumn, and the heroine of Lena Dunham's new Netflix series, Too Much, fantasising about being courted by a Mr Darcy-style suitor, there's no denying the current appetite for depictions of old-fashioned, high-society romance. The aforementioned Bridgerton, The Buccaneers and The Gilded Age, not to mention The Crown, have revived interest in old-fashioned wooing, and made a romanticised version of historical high-society courtship accessible to

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