In Dubrovnik, "pomalo" isn't just a holiday indulgence. It's a philosophy of life that shapes everything from seaside swims to long lunches.

When I told my husband I needed a mumcation, he knew exactly where I'd go. My obsession with Croatia is no secret: I've lost count how many times I've visited my grandparents' homeland (more than two dozen) and I even wrote a novel set there. Dubrovnik's stari grad – the medieval walled old town – stole my heart when I first glimpsed it in 2001 on a holiday with my parents.

For my solo trip, I had a singular goal: to embody pomalo, a deeply ingrained Dalmatian lifestyle that emphasises a relaxed, unhurried approach. I needed to reconnect with myself away from my fast-paced New York City life.

"We wake up pomalo, we drink coffee pomalo, we eat pomalo, we spend time with our friends pomalo, we live pomalo," said Ivan Vuković, my longtime friend and a local Dubrovnik tour guide. He cautioned me not to confuse pomalo with fjaka, a fleeting state akin to Italy's dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing).

"As a local, I would describe pomalo as much more than just 'take it easy'," echoed Deša Karamehmedović, PhD, an associate professor at the University of Herzegovina specialising in cultural tourism. "It is a mindset and a philosophy of life. It means slowing down, being present in the moment and savouring the simple joys without hurry."

I was craving some unhurried time alone – a return to my people-watching days 21 years ago when I studied in Dubrovnik and wrote in my journal at Café Festival on Stradun, the old town's main thoroughfare, lingering over a cup of coffee for hours. I wanted to reacquaint myself with the selves contained within me, ensconced like matryoshka nesting dolls: the university student who fell in love with Dubrovnik; the woman who got engaged and married there; the mum who celebrated her daughter's first birthday at Restaurant Magdalena on the same terrace where we'd held our wedding reception.

I'm used to having a plan and itinerary, but this time, I simply bought a ticket for mid-August and booked a room at my favourite hotel. Apart from alerting Vuković and several friends of my trip, I had no real plans. After all, pomalo encourages you to go with the flow. "In Dubrovnik, it influences our daily rhythms – coffee is not rushed, conversations are not interrupted and life flows at its own pace," Karamehmedović explained.

Pomalo feels distinctly Dalmatian, tied to the sea, the sun, the gentle povjetarac breeze and the slower island and coastal lifestyle. Karamehmedović believes it can even be a meaningful response to overtourism. "Instead of rushing through checklists, it invites travellers to deeply savour one place, one encounter, one moment and to enjoy every minute," she said.

I'd been dreaming of swimming in the Adriatic and feeling saltwater on my skin, so on my first afternoon, Vuković and I headed straight for Titova villa beach on Lapad peninsula, where locals at Splendid beach bar lingered over beers........

© BBC