Welcome Jacinda, but here are seven ground rules for moving to Sydney

March 4, 2026 — 8:48am

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O glorious day. Not since Rita Ora and Zac Efron (or their identical twins, or indeed, someone who looked a bit like them), allegedly attended an open house in Byron Bay have local celebrity spotters been given such a magnificent shot in the arm. The news this week that former New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern was shefting across the detch – sorry, shifting across the ditch – to Sydney for the foreseeable future differed from the usual “famous person moving to Australia” claptrap in one critical respect: it turns out the story was actually right.

So, welcome to your new home, Jacinda. We hate politicians but we heart celebrities. And technically you are more of the former and less of the latter, but you married the latter, which makes you less of the former. Good lord, I’m glad we got that straightened out.

Meanwhile, as an Australian by way of New Zealand, you obviously don’t require a citizenship test (and as canvassed, you’re famous so we’re going to let you stay either way), but immigration is obviously a bit of a hornet’s nest at the minute, so on behalf........

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