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The ‘Rubber Band Theory’ Could Explain Why Your Boyfriend Is Being So Distant

The ‘Rubber Band Theory’ describes a frustrating dating pattern where growing intimacy can trigger a sudden need for independence.

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Another day, another dating theory—and this one is a bit brutal, particularly to men. Coined by relationship counselor and author John Gray in his 1992 bestselling book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the “Rubber Band Theory” in dating suggests that men alternate between seeking closeness with and seeking space from a partner. 

Like a rubber band, this push-and-pull pattern can greatly affect their ability to form a romantic connection. However, for the man, it’s a desire to maintain their independence within the relationship—not a sign of disinterest.

I spoke with a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist and relationship expert to learn more about this seemingly outdated theory. 

What Is the Rubber Band Dating Theory? 

The rubber band dating theory essentially compares men........

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