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How to Tell if You’re Having a Healthy Argument or a Toxic Fight, According to Therapists

Not all disagreements are bad for your relationship. Therapists explain how to recognize when a healthy argument turns into a damaging fight.

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I’ve heard many couples claim they “never argue,” but what I assume they mean is they never fight. 

Disagreements are a normal part of every relationship. Arguing is the mere act of disagreeing and presenting your perspective/opinion, which is a healthy and normal occurrence in any relatinoship. Fighting, on the other hand, is more of a heated, often hostile exchange.

Arguing vs. Fighting: What’s the Difference?

As stated above, arguing and fighting are two completely different exchanges. While they typically both result from conflict and disagreement, they address these issues in different manners.

“Anxiety is fuel for both arguing and fighting. But, while arguing is about an exchange of ideas, as well as the feelings underneath those ideas, fighting is next-level competitive,” says Karen J. Osterle, MSSA, LICSW, licensed........

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