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A Psychologist Has a Blunt Theory About What’s Really Driving the Male Loneliness Epidemic

The issue may have less to do with being alone and more to do with how men are taught to name, handle, and share emotions.

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The male loneliness epidemic has become a buzz phrase in recent years, yet many people disagree on the driving forces behind this wave of male suffering. As a woman, I can only empathize with this experience. I think we all know how it feels to be deeply misunderstood, unseen, or ignored in some way, but I can’t pretend to understand the male experience. 

According to Dr. JJ Kelly, PsyD, aka the punk-rock psychologist, the real issue at hand is emotional illiteracy among men. While that might seem a bit harsh, it paints the disconnect between men and women quite well. While women have been conditioned to accommodate and nurture, men have been conditioned to suppress their feelings and provide security.

So, let me make this clear: The male loneliness epidemic might be the result of a skills gap, but also one that has been deeply ingrained in most men from early in their lives.

What Exactly Is Driving the Male Loneliness Epidemic?

According to Dr. JJ, the male loneliness epidemic might actually be a result of low emotional intelligence. This is not an attack on men as individuals, but rather an attack on the system that raised them.

“Here’s the gap I see over and over with men: they won’t name loneliness at all,” Dr. JJ says. “They’re embarrassed by it. And if you can’t name the problem, you can’t solve it.”

I’ll never forget a conversation I had with one of my guy friends, as it changed my perspective on the male dating experience. He’d expressed his appreciation of........

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