My fellow Americans, our nation is at war, and so it is vital that we set aside our political differences and patriotically rally around our president’s ballroom.

President Donald Trump did not demolish the East Wing of the White House for nothing, and if we allow our war with Iran to draw attention away from the president’s planned $400 million ballroom, even for a moment, the enemy wins.

On March 29, the president spoke briefly about the Iran war aboard Air Force One before pivoting to the more important subject: ballroom.

“I'm so busy that I don't have time to do this,” he said, speaking at length and showing reporters a slew of large ballroom illustrations printed on poster boards. “But I'm fighting wars and other things. But this is very important, because this is going to be with us for a long time, and I think it will be the greatest ballroom anywhere in the world.”

Wars are fleeting. White House ballrooms are forever, probably.

Correct. The ballroom is very important. If past wars in the Middle East have shown us anything, it’s that wars eventually end, sort of. The White House ballroom, on the other hand, will be around far longer, maybe.

As attacks on Iran continued and U.S. troops were putting their lives on the line in Operation Epic Fury, Trump pulled out another drawing showing towering fluted columns: “This is a view of the columns, as they are going to be made, they’re going to be hand-carved, and they're beautiful. Top of the line. They’ll be Corinthian, which is considered the best, most beautiful by far.”

Americans who refuse to celebrate plans for hand-carved Corinthian columns during wartime should not be allowed to call themselves Americans. Throughout history, we the people have come together to buoy presidential construction projects during times of combat. 

History shows us the importance of wartime presidential vanity projects

As World War I raged, President Woodrow Wilson routinely drew reporters’ attention to his first-of-its-kind “man cave” in the basement of the White House. Thus, the popular WWI propaganda slogan: “Make the Enemy Cave!”  

In World War II, President Franklin D. Roosevelt spent much of his time overseeing plans for an ornate White House tool shed. As he said in 1943: “We have faith that future generations will know here, in the middle of the 20th century, there came a time when men of goodwill found a way to unite, and produce, and fight to destroy the forces of ignorance, and intolerance, and slavery, and war. Now here are some new sketches of the big, beautiful shed. Notice the pure white marble. That will all be hand-carved.”

From President Lyndon B. Johnson’s vast White House carpeting project ‒ “Shag the People’s House” ‒ during the Vietnam War to President George W. Bush’s Iraq-War-era construction of the elaborate Cheney Hot Tub Pavilion on the South Lawn, Americans have never failed to support their builder in chief’s wartime home improvements.

What's a president to say during war if not, 'Ballroom, ballroom, ballroom'

So now it’s incumbent on all of us to share President Trump’s ballroom enthusiasm, and to bring it up as frequently as he does.

Like on March 27, speaking to farmers at the White House: “And we're building, that'll be the finest ballroom anywhere in the world when it's completed. And I'm just looking at the construction. In fact, if you don't mind, I'll walk over there and look for a little while. Then I'll come back and I'll continue to speak.”

And on March 26, during a Cabinet meeting: “This ballroom is gonna be something. It's so beautiful for this city, so desperately needed by presidents.”

And also on March 26, during a celebration of Greek Independence Day: "We’re doing something outside that the Greeks would be very proud of, we’re building one of the most beautiful ballrooms anywhere in the world.”

And on March 19, speaking to reporters: “The building you see over there is under budget and ahead of schedule. That's the ballroom.”

And on March 16 at the White House: “But behind me, you're going to have a ballroom that's going to, that this building and the people occupying it, in particular, every president for 150 years has clamored for a ballroom, a large beautiful room.”

Support our troops by backing President Trump's White House remodel!

As war rages, Trump talks about the ballroom like it’s the only thing that matters, so it’s our duty as Americans to trust him.

C’mon, fellow patriots. Support the troops during wartime and rally around our president's ballroom!

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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