TO BE FAIR, as solutions to the housing crisis go, sending the housing minister on a trip to the French Riviera is a pretty innovative one. 

And hey, as long as you’re not taking the housing budget and heading for the shiniest roulette table in Monte Carlo, what’s the harm?

That’s the question Minister for Housing James Browne sought to answer this week when he gave a speech at the Marché International des Professionels de l’Immoblier (MIPIM) conference in the south of France, with a view to beckoning international investors into the Irish housing market. 

While that might sound a little ‘cap in hand’, it was actually much more high-powered than that. The minister’s speech was part of the Ireland Pavilion showcase at the conference, which also included other panels and whatnot explaining how foreign investors could make some sweet bank off of Ireland’s utterly catastrophic housing market. Just ask the good people of Swords. There’s no way that anything called a pavilion could ever be pathetic. 

The timing of the speech has proved inauspicious, coming as it has during the same week that a new study by housing activist group Threshold found that Airbnb short-term lets outnumber rental opportunities in Ireland four to one. In case the significance of that imbalance is lost on you, imagine if you had to fight all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at once with no backup. I know I bring them up a lot in this column but it’s a less powerful metaphor if I make you imagine trying to fight off The Beatles or Weezer. 

Thankfully, it seems we have a plan to address the malign influence of massive international funds and corporations on our housing market. That plan? More international funds and corporations. You know, sort of like when you’ve had eight pints and you feel sick........

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