The Ten Commandments are listed twice in the Torah. Once in the book of Exodus, and the other time is found in the book of Deuteronomy this week. We would be wise to look at these commandments as more than rules designed to restrain bad behavior. Rules can tell people what not to do, but freedom demands something deeper: the formation of people capable of responsibility, restraint, relationship, courage, and care. Commandments (mitzvot), in general, seek to cultivate the inner strength required not merely to live without masters, but to live without becoming mastered by fear, appetite, ego, or isolation. And while it’s not even close to Passover, those would appear to be the four prime ingredients for becoming a Pharaoh to others.

That remains the task before men today, and the need is measurable. In the United States, men live nearly five years fewer than women, their suicide rate is almost four times as high, and the National Institute of Mental Health reports that men are less likely than women to receive mental health treatment. A major national friendship survey also found that 15 percent of men reported having no close friends—a fivefold increase since 1990. 

These numbers do not tell us that men are inherently broken. They suggest that many men have been taught more successfully how to perform, compete, provide, and endure than how to seek help, nurture friendship, care for their bodies, repair relationships, or speak honestly about what they carry. These commandments are not a final definition of manhood.........

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