The Ford Capri is a paradigm of self-deception, but cars are men’s mirrors, and they want to be deceived by them. Thanks to The Professionals (1977-83), in which Bodie and Doyle of Criminal Intelligence drove a silver Capri and a gold Capri, almost two million were sold. Even the police used them, which is absurd. They only had two doors. Even so, I’d like to see a villain stuffed into a fastback coupé, ideally through the window.

I like the old Capri because there was something jaded and stubborn about it: a weary postwar British sex appeal. It was our version of the Ford Mustang, produced from 1969 to 1986. Then we bickered over the obituary because everything is about class: Del Boy of Only Fools and Horses had one too, in the shade of green that usually means clinical infection.

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‘Is it,’ the BBC asked with reliable snobbery in The Car’s the Star, ‘a classic car or a sleazy run-around for ageing wide boys?’  Can’t it be both –........

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