You’re the SNP. You’ve been in government in Scotland for 19 years on the trot. You have nothing to show for it besides ferries that can’t sail and blokes in women’s jails. Your leader has the personality of a gas bill and you go to the polls in May to ask for another five years. What do you?

Apparently, you tell voters that they’re voting on whether to remove Keir Starmer from Downing Street. I’m not making that up. They are, but I’m not. The nationalists have unveiled their re-election campaign with a poster of Starmer and the words ‘Gone in 100 Days?’

100? Amateurs! Andy Burnham will have found a way to remove him long before then. In case there is any doubt as to their line of argument, the party has made it explicit: ‘At the Scottish elections on 7 May, the people of Scotland will be handed the power........

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