The couple who were on a climate crisis camping trip in Ballydehob messaged me in a desperate state.

‘We’re cold and wet! Please can we come?’ It was after 7 p.m. and she had asked for a two-night stay, specifying she would be bringing a dog. We do allow dogs, but we make clear that we can only take small ones because we have to maintain some sort of non-dog smell to the rooms.

Added to which, people who take their dogs with them everywhere are the worst. They think they are interesting but they are, in fact, colossally boring.

I have never met one dog-traveller who is anything other than a pain in the proverbial. We once took our little spaniel Cydney to France and once was enough. We learned with that one trip that travelling with your dog is asking too much of people, and so, as we’re not egomaniacs, we stopped doing it.

I felt sorry for the dog, for my heart aches for the dogs of lefties and other idiots who take dogs everywhere

I felt sorry for the dog, for my heart aches for the dogs of lefties and other idiots who take dogs everywhere

‘Do you take pets?’ said this woman who was attempting to camp in Ballydehob, mecca of the left, when she first messaged me on the booking system. I had agreed to take her last minute because she was wet and cold in........

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