I don’t know how many readers have visited the grave of Dobby the house-elf, but any who have should immediately be sectioned and have their subscriptions to The Spectator cancelled.

This strong course of action occurs to me after reading one of those stories that can make you laugh, cry and smack your head into your hands all at once. It relates to a ‘memorial’ which apparently sits on Freshwater West beach in Pembrokeshire, Wales. The area is run by the National Trust – a charity which used to look after our nation’s heritage sites.

The beach in question was where filming took place for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Since then, fans of the film – which spawned a new generation of mewling, ungrateful actors – have been laying stones and pebbles at the spot at which Dobby died, many of them with messages on (‘Here lies Dobby, a free elf’). The National Trust has already asked fans not to leave socks on the pile (don’t ask), but stones to form a kind of cairn appear perfectly acceptable.

The Dobby’s grave phenomenon is indicative of a country where the adults have taken leave of their senses

The Dobby’s grave phenomenon is indicative of a country where the adults have taken leave of their senses

At this stage it might be worth noting that ‘Dobby’ is a fictional character. No such house-elf ever existed. Therefore you might think this rather whimsy-infused ‘memorial’ should not detain us much longer.

Except that this is one of those increasingly typical........

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