I hope you have found time to enjoy Fifa president Gianni Infantino’s 15-page Instagram meltdown about his World Cup. The last time I saw this many defiant words, they were inked on someone sitting cross-legged on the floor of an El Salvadorean supermax prison.

Infantino has been clapping back at his haters – putting them on blast, in the parlance of our times – and on this evidence seems mesmerisingly close to picking out a Chicano script font and getting STILL I RISE needled across his corporate clavicles. Right next to the ones reading THROUGH THE FIRE, UNBREAKABLE and BUILT DIFFERENT.

“Sorry that the matches are now over and sorry that you missed all that joy and togetherness. Sorry that you were so consumed by hate and criticism that you missed it all,” the Fifa president – reportedly a 56-year-old man – posted yesterday. “To those behind their pens and papers, behind their screens spreading hate and false rumours, I want to say that while you are sitting behind, we at Fifa are on the frontlines organising, working hard, and delivering ‌the best show in the ‌world.” The frontlines of cheating because a fellow presidential shitposter told you to? Hey – it’s a living. Of course, I should say that Infantino denies caving to the repeated interference from Donald Trump over the decision to make the red-carded Folarin Balogun available for the US’s last-16 tie. But I see the top Democrat on the House judiciary committee has launched an investigation into the Fifa president and his ties with the actual president, so ideally Gianni will have the........

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