I see Brooklyn Beckham is on his DoorDash privacy tour. After Prince Harry and Meghan “stepped away” from royal family duties, they embarked on what South Park famously designated their worldwide privacy tour. When Brooklyn stepped away from Beckham family duties – which oddly appear to involve a regal level of shared mission, public appearances and emotional repression – he declared that he wished only for privacy.

And so to his DoorDash ad, which dropped on Monday. Brooklyn is becoming quite the Greta Garbo of food delivery service ads, having previously done a collaboration with Uber Eats. But this latest one for DoorDash, owner of Deliveroo, is an eyecatcher. “You’re probably wondering,” he begins – and honestly, he’d be amazed at what I’m actually wondering. “You’re probably wondering why I’m watching the Fifa World Cup 2026 at home,” smirks Brooklyn, throwing down several World Cup tickets on a table that also features items including some letters. “It’s a long story,” he chuckles, before viewers are … tantalised, I think it is? … with the caption slogan: “It’s complicated. More soon.”

Well, don’t leave it too long, etc. The timing seems particularly remarkable, given that it was only last Friday that a photographer captured his 14-year-old sister, Harper, outside the LA house owned by Brooklyn and his wife, Nicola Peltz, trying to hand-deliver him a letter. He was in fact in New York at the time – and, indeed, not minded to accept the idea that a pap just happened to be outside the property to chance on the poignant moment. The couple’s representatives........

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