Apologies if this is too personal, but is there anything in your home that turns you on? A sleek standard lamp, say, or a sexy piece of kitchen kit? I’m casting an eye around here and wondering. I used to have the hots for my furry heated throw when it was sleek and glossy, but it’s so matted and grubby now, it gives me the ick. I still fancy the big kitchen cupboard, though. It is steely blue and so capacious, and its generous spice rack gives me a frisson every time I look inside.

I’m prompted to ask by the release of Wicker, the loopy erotic fable in which Olivia Colman’s fisherwoman enjoys a mutually supportive, sexually satisfying partnership with Alexander Skarsgård, whom the basketmaker (Peter Dinklage) has woven from wicker. I haven’t seen it yet, but the trailer is joyful and the premise is sending people – mostly women – wild.

The internet is full of horny comments about Skarsgård who, the fisherwoman’s neighbours gossip, is “strong as a tree and just as hard” (he’s certainly very pleasingly woven; a real statement piece). I also enjoyed an article in New York magazine, entitled What Would Happen If You Had Sex With........

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