Repeat after me: yallah. YAH-luh. This versatile Arabic word means everything from “hurry up”, to “come on” to “speak to you later”. If you add a “bye” at the end, the meaning shifts to “please shut up, fool” or “speak soon friend,” depending on your intonation.

Next up: wallah. wa-LAH. Again, the definition changes depending on context and cadence. It can mean everything from “no way!” to “I swear to God.”

What exactly am I doing here? Helping to prepare you for the Arab and Muslim takeover of the US, of course. Now that Abdul El-Sayed, the son of Egyptian immigrants, is going to become the first Muslim senator in the US, it’s only a matter of time before everyone is going to say “yallah bye” to western civilization.

“I hope everyone is learning Arabic,” Laura Loomer, the informal Trump adviser and rightwing personality announced on X Tuesday night. Don’t worry, habibti, if people won’t learn by themselves, we’ll send them to re-education camps. And after that, we’re going to make good on El-Sayed’s threat to implement “shawarma law”.

Forgive me, I know El-Sayed’s victory over Mike Rogers in Michigan has been extremely difficult for Islamophobes and anti-Arab racists to come to terms with, particularly since it comes hot on the heels of Zohran Mamdani’s Muslim takeover of New York. So I would like to send everyone mourning the midterms my thoughts and sharia prayers.

Poor old Loomer, in particular, seems in need of prayers at this time; she is having a very public crisis of faith. “If God is in charge, why did he let our country get........

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