My calling to have a baby was akin to my desire to move to New York. What started as a soft whisper became all-consuming. After five years and thousands of dollars on visas, I was able to make New York City my home and one of the great loves of my life, with greater loves waiting ahead.

Amid this journey was my wife, who is American. Once we turned 35, we knew it was time to start building a family. With no fertility issues besides a diminishing egg count, which is standard for my age, we got the green light to start intrauterine insemination (IUI) – the “cheaper”, less invasive version of in-vitro fertilisation (IVF).

Amanda Smith (right) and her wife are doing everything they can to afford having a child, including accessing superannuation on compassionate grounds.

We did three cycles at approximately $7800 per round, which came to a total of about $23,000. The emotional, physical and financial toll of having no answer as to why it didn’t work and nothing to show for the money spent was devastating. Moving onto IVF was our only choice.

Our friends were announcing their second unplanned pregnancies, renovating their homes or buying a second as an investment. Those who chose not to have kids were travelling, starting businesses and considering moving to Spain.

We........

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